I am a Cowgirl!

This entry is a little different than usual and probably will be more embarrassing because it is about me. I thought you might enjoy hearing about my misadventure last week. Just bear with me.

The events you are about to hear are true.

Not this past weekend but the weekend before I decided to join the family for their day at the horses. As you know we have 3 horses. Laramie, a 3 year old Mustang belongs to Mimi, Tallulah, A 2 year old Mustang that belongs to Shelby and Billy the Kid (we call him Bill) a 3 year old Paso Fino/Arabian mix who belongs to Frank. JR also has a horse. He's a 4 year old Thoroughbred called Toy. So every weekend they all go over and work and ride the horses. We have them at the old place and we have fenced off about 3 acres for them. J.R. Has to keep his in a different pen because his is a stud and Billy is a gelding. And we don't want no little babies right now.

Anyway I usually stay home with the puppies and we enjoy our quiet time. But for some unknown reason I got into my head to go with them. That was my first mistake. So I am over there with them and they are all busy saddling up and lunging (that is to work some of the spunk out of them before you get on them, especially Laramie) Well they have made a trail to ride on all the way around the Osteen property and that is where they ride each week. So off they go. Frankie is on Laramie first running her and Shelby is already gone down the trail on Lullah. Billy has a small injury to his front leg so we just brought him out with us and let him go. He doesn't wander off or anything and he enjoys just following along. Eating everything in sight!

So they make a couple of rounds. Frankie and Mimi make a round then Cheyenne and Mimi ride double for a round (ok, ok, I'm getting to it) when I stupidly, insanely, maniacally utter the following words "Can I ride?"

I don't know where my head was because it sure wasn't on my body at the time.

Well 5 heads all turned my way and said YES! OH MY GOD Mom wants to ride!" They have been begging me to get interested in the horses for a year now. So they decided I need to ride Laramie, (she's the biggest, I'm, well, the biggest so go figure) So now I've got to figure out how to get up on this thing with my bad knee and NOT pee in my pantie's at the same time. Yes old age is setting in! So anyway Frank leads her over to a trailer for me to step up on. Nope that doesn't work. So Frankie bends a knee for me to step up on and all the while they are telling me "Once you start up don't stop. Go straight up and on!" I'm like "WHAT?" What do you mean don't stop. I'm fat and old, I don't do quick anymore.

OK so they finally get my big hiney up there and I swear to you all that saddle had to be loose because I FREAKIN' tell you that saddle was slipping to the left! OMG I'm going to fall off the biggest damn horse we own and it's going to freakin' hurt. I am holding on to the saddle horn for dear life and telling Mimi to NOT make her move. I've changed my mind (Actually it must have returned because I couldn't have been in it when I wanted to ride this beast.) LET ME DOWN NOW! "Oh no mom, It's safe, we'll walk slow I promise. You won't fall once you get use to it! (THERE ALL LIARS! I RAISED A BUNCH OF LIARS!) So I'm yelling at Frank "This saddle is LOOSE! It's slipping to the left." No it's not he says. "THERE IS NOTHING TO HOLD ONTO. NO RAILING OR NOTHING!" I'm yelling SLOW DOWN DAMMIT!" (of course we haven't even started moving yet) Shelby and Lullah and Bill have already started down the path "Come on Kim, Let's go!" I'm thinking she needs to shut up and go somewhere! So Mimi is leading and they start us walking and I loose it. STOP, THAT'S TOO FAST!

I don't care anymore if I look like a blubbiering idiot Because by now I am! Know the idiot, Love the idiot, Be the idiot. That's my new motto. So we get to going, fast, I know it was I was living it. Slow down. Frank said if she went any slower she would trip. "Well good, then I can step off" Bill is walking ahead of us like we are all stupid. Laramie is just putting up with us and with me on her back. When the next thing you know my husband does one of the sweetest things he has ever done for me.

He walks over and grabs the saddle horn from the left with his arm across my lap and asks "Does that help?" And you know what? It Did! So I got to ride a horse.

Laramie and Mimi

Lullah